


Days Since

by larrylostboys



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Happy Ending, M/M, angsty, etc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2013-07-03
Packaged: 2017-12-17 14:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/larrylostboys/pseuds/larrylostboys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neither Louis nor Harry are coping very well with their breakup, counting the days since</p>
            </blockquote>





	Days Since

**Author's Note:**

> meh not my best

days since

 

*day of*

They had seen it coming for quite some time. Their relationship just wasn't realistic, a young couple with the pressures of fame constantly weighing them down.

They would always be known as Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, international pop stars and power couple. 

Sometimes, though, they just wanted to be Harry and Louis.

It was another night of fighting, of sleeping in different beds, of slowly falling apart. 

Somebody came in and asked a quiet "This isn't going to work anymore, is it?" and was met with a quiet "I guess not" from somebody else. 

The details were foggy at this point. 

Bags were packed, goodbyes were exchanged, and louisandharry became Louis and Harry. 

*days since: 1*

Louis didn't think it was going to be so hard to let go. A small voice in the back of his mind said "Of course it won't be easy, he's your soulmate, your other half."

He had silenced the voice with copious amounts of alcohol. 

Harry was fine, just fine, or so he had assured everyone who asked. 

They didn't see the sobs silenced by his pillow at night or the way he felt completely empty. 

No, they didn't see the way he felt that for once in his 21 years, he felt as though he had no purpose. 

They didn't see him call Louis' name in his sleep. 

Harry Styles was most definitely not 'just fine'.

*days since: 7*

Louis began staying in, keeping away from the television or tabloids, their pages littered with pictures of him and Harry. 

In fact, he cut himself off from everybody. He didn't answer his phone, ringing incessantly. He didn't bother with his text messages. 

Why would he? It wasn't as if any of them would be from the person he needed most. 

Harry was the exact opposite. 

He went out every night, partying until the early morning. He used the seas of sweaty strangers to distract him from the sudden emptiness he felt in his chest. 

This continued for weeks. A solution, he told himself. It would fix everything. 

He couldn't ignore the fact that the strangers writhing beneath him in the dead of night didn't feel like Louis did, didn't sound like Louis did, weren't going to be there in the morning with a cup of tea like Louis always was. 

*days since: 60*

"Maybe you should get back out there, darling, it's been two months."

"I don't want to hear this right now, Mum."

"Louis, I know you loved Harry. You two were so good together and I won't try to deny that, but if he's not coming back then it's time to move on with your life. You and I both know you can't drag on like this forever."

And Louis had tried, he really had.

Moving on was hard, though, when every head of hair on strangers on the street was one of brilliant curls, every pair of eyes were shining green. Everybody's lips were coupled with dimples. 

To Louis, every stranger he saw was Harry. 

 

Harry was a broken shell of a person, these days.

He disconnected from everybody, not even bothering to put up a front when his mother had said she just wanted him to be happy. 

He just wanted Louis. 

He spent hours torturing himself, scrolling through the seemingly endless photos of their glory days  
together that he just couldn't bring himself to delete. 

*days since: 89*

Ed called him up, asking whether he'd like to grab a couple beers. When Harry politely declined, Ed sighed over the line. 

"Just promise you'll at least delete his number and try to stop sulking about all the time," he had begged. 

Harry didn't listen. 

He sat with his phone in his hands, thumb hovering over the "delete contact" button he knew he could never bring himself to touch. 

When the nighttime came, Harry found himself lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. No matter how hard he tried, his mind always drifted back to blue eyes and a bright smile and all the memories that went with them. 

In the moments before he fell into a shallow sleep, Harry thought of their first kiss and first "I love you" and all the cozy Sunday mornings when they stayed in bed, thinking about their 'inevitable' marriage and the family they'd have, one day. He rolled over in the bed and thought about missing his other half, about how lonely it was, finding himself again sleeping alone. 

He had no way of knowing that, just across London, Louis Tomlinson was doing the same. 

*days since: 104*. 

Louis was…coping. He wasn't happy, but he was just barely past the days of lying in bed for 14 hours and wondering whether his life had any purpose anymore. 

He tried to get himself out of the house as much as possible. On this particular day, Louis decided to try some cooking. 

He ran to the shop up the street, looking to round up all his ingredients. 

He found himself in the milk aisle, studying his options when he heard someone clear their throat a couple feet away from him. 

He turned his head and - oh. 

"Harry," he breathed as he stared into the green eyes he'd spent months trying to erase from his memories. 

Harry rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, eyes trained on the floor and searching for something to say. 

"Lou - uh, Louis, you look," he cleared his throat, "you look nice."

Louis nodded his head back at Harry. "Yeah, you too."

They stood there, quietly, taking in each others' presence until Louis shook his head quickly, breaking him from his trance. 

"I should-"

"Yeah. Yeah, me too."

"It was nice seeing you, Harry."

Harry nodded and managed a tight-lipped smile before heading off. 

*days since: 178*

It was absurd, how long this was taking. 

Nearly 180 days after losing someone, you should have pretty much moved on. 

Maybe it was different, Harry thought, if the person you lost was the same person you had once thought to be love of your life. 

Harry lay on his couch, staring straight ahead at nothing when he heard a knock. 

"Just come in," he mumbled, as he couldn't be bothered to get up from his spot. 

He heard the sound of the key fitting in the lock followed by three boys walking into his living room.

"Oh, Harry," Liam muttered, sitting next to Harry and resting a hand in his hair. "You look like shit."

Harry scoffed. "Thanks, Li." 

Niall sat down in a chair opposite the couch. 

"So, let's not sugarcoat this. You and Louis broke up a long time ago. Half a year ago, if I'm not mistaken-"

"178 days," Harry corrected. 

Niall, Liam and Zayn shared a concerned look. 

"…Right," Niall continued. "Point is, half a year after a breakup, you probably shouldn't still be crying yourself to sleep at night over him."

"I don't!" Zayn leveled Harry with a look. "Okay, fine." He mumbled, sinking back into the couch. 

Zayn walked over to Harry, sitting him up straight and wrapping an arm around him. 

"C'mon, babe," he said softly, nudging Harry with his shoulder. "We've gotta talk about this."

Harry sighed. 

"Louis was, God, I know we said it a lot but I really- he was my soulmate. I thought he was."

Harry scrubbed at his face, already getting choked up at the thought of losing Louis. 

"And just…now he's gone and I never should have let him go, I should have fought for him. But I didn't, I just watched him walk out the door with everything I wanted to say frozen in my throat. And I will never forgive myself. I've tried to find someone else, I really have, but it's so, so hard because nobody on this earth will ever replace Louis. Everything reminds me of him. I'm cleaning the house and I find one of his socks under the bed. I walk into a store and his favorite song is playing. I see commercials for his favorite cologne. He's everywhere and, fuck," he pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold off the rush of tears he felt coming. "It hurts. It hurts more than any other pain I've felt."

Niall leaned forward to put a hand on Harry's knee. Liam rubbed his back and Zayn pulled him even closer, planting a kiss on his temple. 

Harry leaned into Zayn's shoulder, sobbing. 

"I miss him so much," he cried. "I just want him to come home. He won't, though, will he? I waited too long."

Niall rolled his eyes. "God, you two are idiots. I've always said that, haven't I? It's true." he sighed. 

"If you think that Louis has moved on, or that he's even happy at all, you're wrong. You're a mess, he's an even bigger mess. God, Harry he would take you back in a heartbeat. You know he would. So stop crying your eyes out on a daily basis and do something about it." 

Harry chewed on his fingernails, thinking. 

"We love you both so much," Liam added. "We can't stand seeing you both like this, you're miserable without each other." 

Zayn hummed in agreement. 

"You don't have to do anything today. Maybe not this week, maybe not even this month. Just promise you'll at least think about giving him a call, yeah?"

Harry nodded. 

Liam clapped his hands. 

"Excellent. We'll leave you be now, call if you need anything, babe!"

One by one the boys wrapped their arms around Harry, kissing him on the forehead or temple with a "love you" before filing out the door. 

Harry fell back on his couch, hoping that somehow it would swallow him up. 

*days since: 216*

Footsteps. Definitely footsteps. 

Louis muted the TV. It was late at night and he had tried to convince himself the noises outside his door where just pipes, maybe a creaky floorboard, anything to put his mind at ease. 

There it was again- unmistakeable sound of someone pacing outside his door. 

"Zayn?" he called, slowly rising from his couch. There was no response. "Liam, Niall?"

He walked slowly over to the door, willing himself to check through the peephole in his door.

Louis struggled to hold himself upright as all the air rushed out of his lungs. He was met with the sight of a brown-haired boy pacing in front of his door, biting his lip and pushing the hair out of his eyes every so often. 

Wordlessly, Louis unlocked the door and let it swing open. 

The pair stood in stunned silence, staring at each other. 

Shaking his head quickly, Louis cleared his throat. "Sorry, I- uh, I've got the rest of your stuff in the closet back there I'll just…yeah." 

Harry bit his lip, reaching out to wrap his fingers around Louis' wrist. 

"Lou - er, sorry. Louis. I'm not here for my things." He sighed, pushing a hand back through his hair and closing his eyes. 

Louis paused and turned back to face the taller boy. Harry rubbed subconsciously at the back of his neck. 

"Look. I know you probably never want to see me again, just. I miss you Louis, fuck, I miss you so much." 

Louis swore he felt his heart jump to his throat because, no, this was not happening. It couldn't. 

"I told myself it would be over soon. 'Give it a month', I said. Told myself over and over it would stop hurting but God," he licked his lips and took a deep breath. "It never stopped. We said we were forever, Louis. That doesn't just go away. It can't. We had rough patches, I know we did. There were days when I didn't want to deal with you. Hell, there were days when I hated you but I never stopped loving you. I couldn't." He took a shaky breath before continuing. "I don't know if you want me, I don't know if you have someone else, I don't even know if you care about me let alone love me anymore. But if there's any chance you do, I'd really like you back in my life." He huffed a laugh. "Tired of feeling alone." 

Louis tentatively brought his hands to cup Harry's face, stroking with his thumbs. Harry sighed, closing his eyes and leaning into his touch. 

"Harry," Louis breathed. Softly, so softly as if the slightest noise would change Harry's mind. 

"Harry, Harry, harryharryharry," Louis leaned his forehead against the elder boy's, his eyes wet. 

Harry ran a thumb under Louis' eyes, wiping the tears away. He hesitated before leaning in, finally kissing the lips he'd been missing for so long. 

Louis closed his eyes and threw his arms around Harry's neck, one hand coming up to stroke at the soft hairs at the back of his neck. 

Harry broke the kiss, leaning in to bury his face in Louis' neck instead. 

"I'm sorry," he said, voice muffled against Louis' warm skin. "I'm so sorry."

Louis shook his head quickly. "You're here now, yeah?"

Harry smiled, blinking at the beautiful boy in front of him. "Yeah."

"And are you planning on leaving any time soon?"

Harry cupped Louis' face, leaning in to kiss his forehead once, twice, three times before pulling away. 

"God, Louis."

Their fingers intertwined and Harry sighed at the familiar feeling he'd been missing for so long. 

"Never again."


End file.
